Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
His nipple licking is glorious
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