You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
