I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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