what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
