Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
