Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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