I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
