dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
