and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
