that's an acceptable place to lick
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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