it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
