Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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