You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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