I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
