I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
