I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
