hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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