But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
