I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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