If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
