Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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