seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
