I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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