Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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