Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
