I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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