Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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