The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
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