Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
