Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
