if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
