If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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