Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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