She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
