its not stalking. its research.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
