Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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