Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize