I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
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My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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