YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
