ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
