where am i from again
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
