He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
