You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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