Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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