I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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