How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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