areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
