You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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