weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
