I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
