I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
