its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
