if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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