She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
