I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
