margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
