Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
