i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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