Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
