I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
