Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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