Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This is not my ceiling
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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