they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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