If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
