So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
