Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
